A Song for the Menopause to the tune of ‘The Wheels on the Bus’

The acid in my chest goes up and down,

Up and down,

Up and down,

The acid in my chest goes up and down,

All night long.

 

The spots on my chin they come and go,

Come and go,

Come and go,

The spots on my chin they come and go,

Week in, week out.

(By the way, can’t you tell I’m pissed off this evening?)

 

I’m irritable and tearful nearly every week,

Every week,

Every week,

I’m irritable and tearful nearly every week,

Poor, sad cow.

 

The moods of this bitch go up and down,

Up and down,

Up and down,

The moods of this bitch go up and down,

Every, other day.

 

The hair on my head is thin and dry,

Thin and dry,

Thin and dry,

The hair on my head is thin and dry,

Month, by month.

 

The fat on my hips is hard to shift,

Hard to shift,

Hard to shift,

The fat on my hips is hard to shift,

Year in, year out.

 

The sweat rises up, blows off my head,

Off my head,

Off my head,

The sweat rises up, blows off my head,

Every, night.

 

Fractious sleep then exhausted days,

Exhausted days,

Exhausted days,

Fractious sleep then exhausted days,

Without fail.

 

So there it is I’m going to pot,

Going to pot,

Going to pot,

This moody cow has lost the plot,

For the rest of her bloody life.