I imagine that you may have been at a low ebb in your life. We all have, in one form or another, whether it’s health problems, relationships or money, we can look back and reflect on how we got through. Obviously, we did, because we are still here.
Personally, I have hit countless struggles over the past few years and can confidently say that I have achieved my aims and continued goals with complete satisfaction, and with the knowledge that I did it all alone. OK, it’s great if you have someone to guide or help you along the way and give you support as it can make things easier for you, but to achieve your goals alone, gives you a greater sense of achievement and satisfaction and I feel makes you stronger.
My life, 2 years ago, was what you would call ‘Rock Bottom!’. I was in the final stages of a divorce, which was very stressful as children were involved, and money was scarce (solicitors are expensive), and I lost my job. It was pretty dire! I had increasing anxiety and panic attacks and a spate of depression that was all-consuming for at least 3 months, but then again reflection, no wonder. I think your body physically and mentally kind of goes through a shut-down and you feel completely unable to do much at all. Household chores, cooking and cleaning become a massive effort, but then that could be because you feel you have no purpose etc. I was absolutely determined in my lowest state of mind to do something about it, with the help of a very special person. And I’m going to tell you who that special person was…. It was little ole me!!!
The whole process took months, to even start to improve, but it’s flowing along on exactly the right track and it’s getting better day by day.
I’m going to list this out to make it more understandable. I set these little goals out for myself as a list and ticked them off as I went along. Anyway, this is how it all turned out….
- I got my anxiety under control by visiting my GP and seeing a counsellor for a couple of sessions which addressed my panic issues. This really worked for me as the freedom of being able to talk to a professional about your problems makes you realise that it is all quite common and many people go through this stuff on a daily basis. I felt a little better after a few weeks, and my life started to improve.
- I got a job. I live alone and have no support from a partner and I have 2 teenagers. Life is tough! I applied for about 6 jobs, got 4 Interviews and failed each time. No way was this going to stop me. I am a qualified teaching assistant and got a position working as a supply. I love this form of employment. I work in different schools each day, meet new people and have varied experiences. This type of specific employment enables me to have more control of where I work and I can also choose the days I go in. A great choice for me.
- I was lonely. My social life became non-existent after I divorced, so I needed to get out there and meet new people. I always loved to draw and paint as a child so I joined a local evening class painting with watercolours. I love it and continue to go. And it served its purpose; I’ve met new and interesting people.
- When I gained a little more confidence I joined a beginners French language class. The same purpose was realised. I can speak better French, and my new friends on the course are great. In fact, some of us are going on a weekend Christmas shopping trip to a French town in a couple of months to sample the delights of French cuisine and wine and to enjoy the sights of a historic city.
- So all of this piqued my interest further last year and I was kind of thinking..”So how about I use the skills I have as a Teaching Assistant with my french knowledge and do something else?”, So I did, I began a 6-month training programme on a TEFL course (Teaching English as a Foreign Language). I must admit it was the hardest course I’ve ever done, but goodness me it’s been worth it. I am now qualified to teach in the UK or any country in the world my own language of English to adults or children. France appeals to me more as a destination because I’m learning French; it makes sense of course!
So, all in all, I’ve achieved my goals in the past two years and I am extremely proud of my achievements. I have one regret though, and that is, that I didn’t do it years ago, but life is like that sometimes and I believe that the time will come and you can set your goals and achieve them when the time is just right.
I do struggle with a low self-esteem and yet I have always been that way and it’s just a part of who I am. The most important thing about that though, is that I haven’t allowed it to stop me.
I also remember a very important point I read once. Don’t take massive steps and rush into anything, just be slow but sure and take tiny steps towards your goals. Just enough that your confidence will allow. Ease yourself into goals, embrace them, pat yourself on your own back when you do them alone, be proud of your strength and never stop.
Goal Number 6: When the time is right and my circumstances allow, I am determined to work abroad doing the job I love. And I will do it, I know I will because I did everything before all on my own. I have regularly looked at the quote at the outset and took inspiration from it…
‘And so she decided to start living, the life she’d imagined….’