Ouch!

Puddings, Biscuits and Cakes. 10 Excuses to eat them!

I’ve been on day 1 of my diet today and it’s gone very well apart from the fact that  I have a serious lack of willpower. This evening, I’ve decided to eat the last sweet sugar encrusted pudding item from the freezer and then all the treats will be gone from the house and I can start anew.

As I opened the freezer door this evening, I was silently telling myself that it would be a good idea to take out the lemon meringue pie because my fridge freezer is quite small and there is no room whatsoever in the drawers as there’s loads of stuff squashed in there, therefore, to free the pie from the freezer will give me more room when I make my low-fat soup tomorrow, which I can freeze in batches and stick in the space that is now available (Who am I trying to kid, as If I’ll make diet soup for goodness sake), anyway I digress. I thought it would be a good idea to write down 10 excuses that I have used over the past two months to show you how my warped mentality works in convincing myself why I need the sugary treat.

Here goes:

1… As I said just now, to remove the cake or pie from the freezer will free up more space.

2… Well, I bought this pack of 5 doughnuts this morning and if I keep them until tomorrow all the sugar will go syrupy and they will ruin; so I’ll eat them today.

3… I went out for lunch with my Aunt and Cousin yesterday, and I’ve not seen them for at least a year so I wanted to enjoy myself in their company and eat the chips just like my Aunt.

4…A girl at work had made some homemade cakes and she offered me one. I couldn’t resist because they looked so lovely and she’d spent the previous evening making them for all the staff. How can you refuse?

5… Rich Tea fingers are my favourite biscuits. I really don’t like any other fancy biscuit with chocolate, waters or other ingredients, I much prefer the plain ones that you can dunk. But the dunking gets out of hand, so even though if you happen to be following the slimming world diet and they are only half a syn each, which is great news, I can get through half a packet in about 10 minutes, therefore, they are not slimming at all when you think about it. There are no excuses for this behaviour.

6… I bought some mini pork pies at Christmas. These tasty cute little morsels are quite delicious and I never buy them usually, nevertheless, I did buy a packet of 6. I had one and offered one to my two children who refused. So I had another. I then cut one in half to give to my dog Dexter who loved it!   So there’s 4 left. The next day I gave another one to Dexter and told him that I couldn’t give him anymore because he’s a Labrador and he will put weight on. So because of this, there were 3 left and I had to eat them. Bit of a greedy day that one!

7…I went to see Star Wars at the cinema with my boys. They insisted I helped them with their large tub of salty popcorn. Nuff Said!

8…My eldest bought me, out of his own meagre amount of money, a packet of skittles for Christmas (my favourite sweets), and a Toblerone. You have to eat the gifts you’re given to show your appreciation for their thoughtfulness.

9…When your child makes cheese scones at school a few weeks before the holidays. He got an excellent mark for their lightness and flakiness and he insisted I tried 1 or 7 to confirm his teacher’s approval. They were very good!

10… And finally, when your mother makes the most exquisite Christmas lunch, with pigs in blankets, and then gives you a bowl containing a huge wedge of Christmas pudding, because nobody else likes it, and it’s made to serve 8, so she gives you enough to serve the 8 that are not in the room, and it’s covered in creamy custard and you don’t want to upset her because she’s spent all morning preparing it.

In conclusion, all of these excuses have unfortunately made me 2 stone overweight which is absolutely dire. But now the excuses are gone, the foods have been consumed and the freezer is empty. Let the weight loss commence!

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