I’m going to a wedding next week. Not for the whole day, but just for the night do! But my word, I’ve been in such a pickle trying to find a dress that fits. I don’t normally wear dresses. so I haven’t got much of a clue on what to buy for different occasions. I put out a message on my personal facebook account the other day asking for help on buying the right colour shoes for a blue dress. I was given lots of advice on the colour that would suit, so that part was quite easy. I also, due to my cleverness on the day of ordering, purchased 2 different sizes of dress from a mail order company because I know that in the last 6 months I have put on a stone and a half, which is an absolutely ridiculous amount of weight. I got both of the dresses delivered 2 days ago, and I don’t fit in either of them!
My friend noticed that the dresses couldn’t possibly be that size and looked way too small, which kind of made me feel a little better, but now I’m wondering if she was just trying to be nice because I tried at least 4 of my own black dresses on that were in my wardrobe and not one fits! And I am absolutely disgusted with myself.
So this morning, with the knowledge that the wedding is only 6 days away, I visited a local shopping precinct and found at least 4 more quite nice dresses to try on. I chose a size, a bit bigger than I anticipated I’d need, and found the shop assistant who took me to the fitting room. It was around 10 am in the morning and the shop was quite empty.
So I start to try on the blue lacy one which was absolutely gorgeous, but it didn’t fit, surprise surprise! Then I tried on a summery one that kind of fitted but wasn’t really suitable for the event. Lastly, I tried on two of the same sort of dresses with polka dots in two sizes that fitted, yet because they were the fit a flared style that comes to the knee. I looked like a big fat round doughnut. During the 10 minutes of trying them on, I was having a detailed conversation with myself about how pathetic I was putting on weight. About all the chocolate cheesecakes I’d consumed since Christmas, and how I was completely adamant that I just wasn’t going to the wedding if I couldn’t find anything to fit. The swear words were quite terrible. After yanking off each dress I was using a resounding ‘Oh for F****s sake!’, ‘What a fat frigging frump’ and ‘Look at the size of my bloody fat legs, disgusting’.
Upon opening the door the shop assistant was waiting and I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me on the spot. She had a big smirk on her face and asked me if they were suitable. I responded with “I think you already know the answer to that question?”.
I walked away and have vowed to go on a crash diet for a week to get into shape.
It’s going to be a looonnng week!!